“Don’t look back…

“Don’t look back, You’re not going that way!”

I couldn’t even count the number of times I heard friends, clients, just people in general saying “I just need to get back to how I was when……… (*insert particular moment in time when with hindsight, they knew they looked really good*)

It might be before having a baby, it might have been on their wedding day, their 21st, when they rocked that post-break-up F*** YOU, WHO NEEDS A MAN ANYWAYS… body!  

Or you would often hear people reminiscing over when they ran a marathon with disbelief on their own face that they actually at one time were that fit. 

After a quick gasp at how they had ‘let themselves go” you hear the say…..”Jesus Christ, I NEEEEED to cop on and get back to being that fit again”.

This makes perfect sense to me, the desire behind all of these wishes is to look and feel great again, I get that.  I mean seriously, who doesn’t want to look and feel their best???!

What’s actually happening here if we look a little closer is we are remembering a feeling, remembering a time when you felt confident, when we felt good enough, when trying on a dress wasn’t a full-body workout to get it off your head, and jeans didn’t need to be jumped into. Feeling at ease, strong. Able. Fit. There is no denying it, feeling comfortable in clothes equals confidence. Feeling comfortable in your own skin equals confidence. 

The problem I have is the approach we generally take to “get back” to when we looked and felt our best.

My best personal example is after I had given birth to my baby boy Freddie.

He was a mere 4 weeks old and I was out in my garage turned gym, trying to do a push-up. I fell flat on my face trying to do it.

To be fair I found it humorous, here I am, a personal trainer and I can’t even push my body weight up off the ground. I was Skitting at the cut of me preaching exercise and fitness and me not able to do the things I once found a doddle! 

When I showered and got changed that evening I remember feeling pressure as I would have to return to teaching Bootcamp classes soon, I was horrified that I would have to teach exercises that I literally wasn’t able to perform. But I also felt humbled. I knew it was ok to have to start over and I was happy to face the challenge. 

My internal voice kept saying, however, “You need to get back to how fit you were last year” “You need to get your body back to how lean and strong it was 2 years ago”. 

But I then had a moment of realisation. I realised my approach and attitude was all wrong.

That person I was longing to get back to no longer exists!!!! I mean she’s gone! That Kathie was great and all but again, she no longer exists. 

It just doesn’t make sense to want to go back to being her when that girl had not grown a human, that girl had not weathered the storm of the death of many a loved one, that girl hadn’t fought to get up on a daily basis.

That girl I had set as my destination is someone else and it makes no sense for me to want to go back to being her! You can’t be her. She’s gone! 

So the alternative???

Step one! 

Acceptance. 

My attitude changed to one of acceptance of who I was right there in that present moment. 

Acceptance! The starting point and catalyst for any change to happen. 

Accepting who you are.

Knowing that you are enough.

Knowing that every day you live you carry new experiences with you that makes up who you are today. Mentally AND physically.

Accepting you don’t feel good but you have the power to change that.

Accepting that no-one can do this for you but you.

All there is is forwards.

Look ahead.

Step 2! 

Change.

One of my favourite phrases I churn out regularly to my Online clients is “If nothing changes, nothing changes.

Now say it again. If.nothing.changes.nothing.changes.

You have to start making some changes to your current life if you are not happy where you are. Both mentally and physically.

Change yourself because you want to better your life, not go back to someone who isn’t you anymore.

Keep trying to work on and improve your current self…Forward, always forward. Not back.

Confidence will come from this. Physical changes will come from this.

Learn to appreciate your body right now in this present moment and love it. You are EVERY bit as good as that person you think has a great body. You are not less worthy! 

Look at those pictures of yourself you pine over and long to “get back to”.

Think about it….did you truly appreciate your physical body and whole self then???. Maybe you weren’t content with yourself even then?! 

Maybe it’s less to do with what dress size you are and more about how you view yourself, maybe that’s what’s got to change.

First, accept and then change.

Do it from a place of love and not punishment or hate.

Go forward rewarding your body with movement and care.

Never back. 

Much Love 

Kathie